What you must believe to be a W. Republican
What You Need To Believe To Be A Bush Republican:
1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy
made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy
when Bush needed a "we can’t find Bin Laden" diversion.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China
and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of International harmony.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
5. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
10. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades , but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.
17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by most quail.
Feel free to pass this on. If you don’t send it to at least 10 other people, we’re likely to be stuck with more Bush Republicans in ‘06 and ‘08. Friends don’t let friends vote Republican
June 13th, 2006 at 12:39 pm
As a fellow Republican, I too can express my disgust for the way the Neocons are trashing the true conservative values of which I was brought upon.
I refuse to turn my back on the Republican party though. I feel my job as a moderate is to bring more of the hard-core righties closer to the center and v.v. for the heavily left leaning Democrats.
I may only get the gears grindong of at least one person a year, but that alone is enough to allow me the perseverence I need to continue.
December 27th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
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